Congratulations, you’re engaged! Once you’ve shown off the engagement ring and shared the proposal story, everyone’s next question: “So, when’s the wedding?”
Wedding planning can feel overwhelming both right from the start and throughout the process. It’s not always the right move for every couple! This is especially true if one or both partners don’t like a lot of attention, or for couples who want the focus to be on the ceremony itself instead of choosing table linens and whether their guests should be served chicken or fish.
So, you might be thinking of ditching the idea of a big wedding and running off for something more intimate. Elopements are no longer about secret courthouse ceremonies (unless that’s your vibe, in which case, go for it!). Modern elopement planning can be just as intentional and beautiful as a full wedding day, just with fewer guests and way less pressure.
Elopement Planning: How to get started
Before diving into the details, it’s worth asking a few key questions to help shape your elopement:
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Do you want it to be just the two of you, or will you invite a few guests? There’s no right or wrong answer; you might want total privacy, or it might be important for your parents, other family, or best friends to attend and help you celebrate.
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Are you imagining a low-key city hall elopement, a short ceremony and lunch reception, or something more adventurous outdoors?
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Do you want to travel for your elopement, or stay close to home?
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What time of day (or even season of the year) feels most “you”? Sunset by the ocean? City hall in autumn?
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Once you’ve had a chance to consider these questions and decide what feels most authentic for the two of you, you can start with your elopement planning!
Choose your location
This is the first big decision and sets the tone for everything else. Are you envisioning a cliffside ceremony in Big Sur? A civil ceremony at the Santa Barbara Courthouse? A cozy Airbnb in the woods? A destination hotel with a nice dinner afterwards? Your elopement venue or location should reflect your personalities and make logistical sense for your guests.
Some favorite elopement locations in California:
- Santa Barbara Courthouse
- San Ysidro Ranch
- Ritz-Carlton Bacara
- San Francisco City Hall
- Rosewood Miramar Beach
Officiant + Marriage license
You’ll need someone to make it official. Consider whether you want a religious, civil, or personalized ceremony, and make sure your officiant is licensed in your elopement location. I LOVE working with Patrice Handley, Nanette McIntyre, and Barbara Rose Sherman. A friend or family member can also serve as your officiant if they are ordained, or the Santa Barbara Courthouse will even allow a loved one to be a “deputy marriage commissioner for the day.”
In California, you don’t have to obtain your marriage license in the same county where you’ll be getting married (as long as you’re still having your ceremony in California). Wherever you’re getting your license, you’ll probably need an appointment, so check out your local government offices (example: Ventura County Clerk-Recorder). If you’re traveling out of state, you’ll want to look up the marriage license requirements for your desired wedding destination.
At venues like the Santa Barbara Courthouse, you can make a civil ceremony appointment that includes your marriage license (so easy!).
For the actual ceremony, a standard marriage license requires at least one witness (if you won’t have any friends or family present, you can ask your photographer if they’ll be your witness — I’ve done this before and I’m happy to do it!). Confidential licenses do not require you to have a witness.
Hire a photographer
Your elopement might be small, but the memories are just as big. A great photographer will document your day beautifully and help you feel comfortable in front of the camera. Many elopement photographers (oh, hi there!) can also often assist with timeline, vendor suggestions, and location planning.
Include flowers
Even if you’re keeping it simple, a bouquet and boutonnière go a long way in making things feel celebratory. Sometimes, family members also feel special with a corsage or boutonnière, too, or you can get a smaller bouquet for a maid of honor. For extra special touches, you can also add a couple of ceremony arrangements (even somewhere simple, like the Courthouse) and some sweet centerpieces for a lunch or dinner date with your loved ones.
My favorite elopement florists serving Santa Barbara:
Schedule hair and makeup
This isn’t a mandatory step (honestly, none of the things on this list are mandatory, except maybe your marriage license if you want things to be legal!). But you deserve to feel your best, and getting your makeup done and hair styled can truly go a long way. Hair and makeup artists, especially if they’re used to doing weddings, can usually travel to you at your home or hotel room. They also know how to keep everything looking fresh through vows, tears, and a couple hours of portraits. And of course, some favorite makeup artists and hair stylist for you to choose from:
It’s also great to get a blowout somewhere like Drybar or Carlyle Salon!
Consider a wedding planner
Another relatively optional step, I’d still recommend a planner who is familiar and comfortable with small weddings and elopements, especially if you are hosting more than 10-15 guests, renting chairs, planning a dinner reception, or including more than one location in your plans. It might sometimes seem like a small wedding is easy to manage on your own, but even a “month of” planner (also known as “event management”) can be incredibly helpful in directing guests on where to go, coordinating rentals and florist drop-offs, and keeping your timeline on track.
If you’re doing a civil ceremony at the Courthouse and heading to an intimate dinner on State Street afterwards, you’re probably fine without a planner. But the more moving parts you have, the more stressful it can potentially become to manage on the big day. Let yourself enjoy the moment with your loved ones by enlisting the help of an experienced wedding planner to manage everything else!
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When you’re ready to consider your options for photography, please get in touch — I can’t wait to help you start planning your elopement celebration!
